I hear the sound of children laughing and screaming outside as I take another drag of my cigarette that I shouldn’t be smoking. Why should they be enjoying themselves while I’m being miserable here. I sink down under my duvet some more. 

We’re killing ourselves over each other. This should not be how love is.

I love her. But every so often it comes to the point where she has sunk so low that I begin to sink too. Not only does it affect me but it hurts her even more.

I love her too much to let this happen, but I love her too much to let her go.

Forgetting about her would be so much more damaging. I could never do it.

She is all I have; the fact that we are together shows that someone wants me. Without her, there would be nobody. I’m so unwantable; I still find it hard to believe she likes me. 

I don’t want to hurt her anymore. This is so hard.